I’ve read the end of the story; I know who wins in this great battle between good and evil. … I know who the King is and who the game-master is. And until his kingdom is established in its fullness on earth, I would rather do anything but mess around with this mess. The hull of a ship, the inside of a fish’s belly, the bottom of the sea – all of that seems safer to me than what God might have me do while he puts all things to rights in the world. Being used by God in the work of putting the world to rights feels terrifying to me because I don’t know exactly what that will require of me.

I’ve been angry at God.