It was when I stepped back from the charged contexts and spectacles of theological conflict that doubts began to surface. My doubts arose, not from specific claims or arguments, but from the general effect that the material I had been reading and positions for which I had been arguing had on me. Whether it was something about my spiritual state or the material I was reading, I didn’t know. However, for all my thinking and theologizing, I knew that it had not drawn me more to Christ, nor was it producing good fruit in my life. It was making me contentious, unloving, proud, and resistant to authority. Most troubling, I knew that my love for Christ was growing colder. This realization greatly unsettled me.

I started listening to the Bible, rather than listening for things that served my interests.