In novels, as in youth, the sense that you can do anything feels exciting. A lack of certain knowledge of the future, the open possibility of myriad options, contributes to the sense that one is free. The future is not a wall, or even a path, but a door, many doors, scattered about, which lead to unknown places, through which a man can enter or exit as he pleases – or stay completely still, whatever suits him. This sense that anything can happen is exciting.

Literature’s inability to fix my life became apparent when I could not stop doing heroin.