While I’ve had plenty of moments when music served as a genuine means of catharsis and connection, I’ve also listened to it to manipulate my emotions and stave off uncomfortable silence. Years ago, my family was on a road trip out west. I had my headphones on in the backseat, as usual. Eventually, my brother Josiah, wanting me to be more present with the family, encouraged me to take a break. “If you listen to music all the time,” he said, “your emotions will be in a constant flux.”

He was right. I seemed to always need background music, something to offset discomfort, or to provide a rush of adrenaline.